I was feeling overly bloated a few days ago. And I’m usually very conscious of what I eat, and I’m careful of my intake of foods that I am generally intolerant to. As I was journalling, I felt so full up, and my system felt like it was a stuffed closet, filled with memories, experiences, old documents, images but it just could not take anymore in.
As I probed deeper into what this feeling of being overstuffed was (and I really wasn’t overeating – I had very small meals prior to this) – I realized that I was actually filling myself up with my old life. My cupboard was stuffed with my old life because I was keeping it away in the darkness, and I didn’t want anyone to see how I was treating it …. like how you’d do a quick clean up of your house before the visitors come and keep things away hurriedly? Yup, that’s how it felt.
I finally realized that as much as I am thankful today for the life that I have – and I’m following my passion and purpose today, I was hiding my old life in the darkness somewhere. All because I didn’t think it gave me purpose. All because I kept on regretting that I’d spent the last 20 years of my life wasting my time. I’d been lamenting that it had taken me 20 years to get to where I am today, and it was always said with so much regret and a deep disdain for this life I used to lead. All of a sudden, I felt so much remorse for rejecting my old life and I was subconsciously hanging on to this life, I was angry with myself for allowing this to take so long. I had a case of comparisonitis, where I looked around me and saw my friends, mostly younger than me, come into self-awareness when they were much younger, in their 30s.
Instinctively, I knew I had to forgive myself, and so I said the H’ponopono prayer to my old self.
I’m sorry – all I was thinking about was how much I was missing out on in the last 20+ years. I know it wasn’t fair of me to dismiss this part of my life which was so major. It has been integral to my being as it is today.
Please forgive me – You are enough – and you’ve brought me to be where I am today. I could not have existed without you. I needed to learn from all those bumps, accidents and mistakes that you made along the way.
Thank you – it was both an equally painful but joyous journey. I’ve had so much professional achievement in this past life in the world of banking and finance, and I did myself proud.
I love you – I did not realize that I was rejecting you, my old life. Now that I know this, I wanted to say I love you too.
And just like that, my bloatedness went away. A sudden relief overcame me as I let go of my tears within seconds.
I used to think that there was no connection between my body and my emotions. But what I’ve come to realize is that there is so much more to our physical bodies than we give them credit for – our bodies are also a mirror for us to reflect upon our inner, subconscious states of mind, like a control centre that gives us warning signals to pay attention to our behavioral patterns which aren’t so obvious to us.
I use a combination of Bodytalk and creative visualization techniques to tap into my own subconscious mind through my body to understand my own inner state of mind. The difference here is that I don’t impose my language onto yours, but rather allow your subconscious to do the talking with these visualizations, and that’s the beauty of these sessions – not my words but yours. Not my ideas but yours. All answers come from you.
Book a free discovery call with me today if your body is going through discomfort, but popping pills just haven’t given it long term relief, and you’re not sure where it comes from.
